God is subtle, but he is never vicious:)

I decided looong back that I will have this status message on Yahoo,the day the High Court delivers the verdict quashing the dim-witted fancies of the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu-rendering entrance exams obsolete purely for electoral gains uncaring for either the students nor the universities who are the actual stake holders. That day is today. I will write about my experience in driving an opposition to this (which I felt was the right thing to do) in some other entry. As of now, anyone who cares to ask me will get an icecream treat today:).

Baby one more time

I often ask myself-which was the happiest time of my short and sweet life so far...there are immediately a flurry of events which come to mind. Then I wonder why are non of these feelings permanent? Ofcourse when I think about it now I am happy-but along with it comes a tinge of dissapointment which says-"Things are'nt the same anymore". Is it necessary to have some disspointments in life to really realise the happy moments?

When I dig a bit deeper, I find a commmon thread that runs through all these events-they were all in one form or the other some event of social acceptance, some "acheivements" (I am using this term purely in the way the society defines it), time spent with friends...and so on. Each of these satisfied atleast one of the basic human cravings-acceptance,recognition,desire to be part of a community and so on...

But wait, there was one other time when I was happy, so happy that I dont even remember it, how many of you remember the time you were a small kid, I am talking about a really small one maybe one-two years old. Well at that time I didnt care about what people thought about me, I didnt care about how eloquent I was, I couldn't just hurt anyone's feelings, I had no expectations of myself and didn't just care about whether or not others had one for me. I never judged anyone because I knew noone. I was a great listener and a great observer primarily because I couldn't just talk, there were simple ways of expressing myself-crying when I was hungry and laughing when people made faces at me. I didn't just care about how rich the guy next door was, nor was I concerned with Bush's pursuance of hapless nations. I was so so happy with the current state of things that I didn't even care to remember those things.

But there I made the mistake, I didnt bother to remember...I have totally forgotten the meaning of being happy and today even if I want to go back it is well next to impossible. I have allowed myself to be conditioned so well that now the society beleives (and so do I) that I am happy for all the preconditions to be happy (family, work, friends etc) are all met. But my question is where did this precondition come in the first place!!!